The other day I was reading a blog post by Perry Marshall about the Gulf Oil spill and the urgent need everyone seems to have to find someone to blame. I loved that post and will link to it here (as well as blogging about the “blame game” here.)
It didn’t take an oil spill for us to be primed to feel like victims, though; there are many reasons why we are almost “set up” to feel that way:
Feeling like a victim? Photo by aldomurillo
Here are just a few of the ways that we can be set up to feel like victims:
- Media that constantly feeds us news of overwhelming disasters and makes us feel fearful and/or angry, without appropriate and constructive outlets for our strong emotions.
- Unresponsive government agencies who appear to be unconnected to local and regional problems, while offering little more than “bandaid” fixes for the ones they do address. (And no, I’m not a Tea Partier, although in some of my more cynical moments I do empathize with them.)
- Too much violence makes us desensitized to specific violence in our homes and communities.
- So many big problems around the world that it feels overwhelming to deal with them all.
We have been conditioned by our cultures to feel like victims. And when we start to feel that way, the next thing we do is try to find someone to blame for our discomfort — as if know who is “guilty” will give us a way to focus our anger so that we can feel “powerful.”
If we are honest with ourselves, we can probably see all the way through these illusions. But most of us don’t take the time to think through our feelings; we just have them. We just hurt, or fear, or get mad, in reactionary, reflexive response to external events — never stopping to realize that individually we DO have choices — and the responsibility to make them. We CAN take actions that can help — if only we knew what they were. And we CAN make a difference with our voices, if we would only ask (and sometimes demand) what we want, instead of just assuming there is nothing to be done.
I’m certainly not saying that there aren’t real and big problems in the world, maybe even in your own life.
What I AM saying, however, is that you don’t have to feel like a victim and act as if you’re helpless, when you are not. Empowerment isn’t just a word, it’s a way out.
Because of so many people who seem to be suffering from the “victim syndrome” — at least some of the time — I made a new flower essence. It’s called Victim No More — and it does what it says. It helps you to stop feeling like a victim, and to start figuring out where and how you can get a grip on your life and take some effective action.
Will it help you win the lottery? No. Will it help you stand up to an abusive boss or spouse? Probably. Will it help you know deep-down-inside that you CAN do something about your situation, no matter how bleak it may appear at the moment? Absolutely.
Victim No More is for people who want to stop feeling like one. It’s for you or someone you know. It’s time we all wake up and do something about things, instead of feeling like we can’t. Check it out.