Pardon the irony here, but you are going to want this.
I know — that sentence alone sounds suspicious. And honestly, that’s part of the point.
Healthy desire is beautiful. It gives life color and direction.
Toxic wanting is different. It’s quieter, sneakier, and far more convincing.
Most of the time, it just feels reasonable.
It shows up as urgency. As pressure. As the sense that now isn’t the time to slow down or look too closely — that clarity can wait until later.
Later rarely comes.
Toxic wanting is very good at sounding sensible.
That’s why it slips past us.
Help me change how we respond to it.
The work I’ve devoted myself to is about learning how to see what’s shaping our choices while we’re still inside them — not afterward, when we’re cleaning up the mess.
That’s why I wrote Healing The Wanting series of books.
They’re not about fixing yourself or trying harder. They’re about noticing what’s already happening and making room for cleaner, steadier choices.
So yes — there’s irony here.
But if you’ve felt the strain of this moment, personally or collectively, you probably do want something that helps you see more clearly instead of pushing harder.