When the ladder looks like a question (AKA how the right questions can get you out of a deep hole when Life happens unexpectedly)

Apr 10, 2015 | Announcements, Bright Wings articles, Change, Coaching, Connection, Consciousness, Inspirations, Motivation, People Doing Good Stuff

Let me tell you a story.  Come here and sit for a while, and listen.  I think you will get something useful out of this.

Image courtesy Saeed karimi from Unsplash

Ladder in hole




As with many others I know, “Life” has happened recently ~ a series of events that (in my worst moments I’ve called “a perfect storm”) caught me off guard and put me in an uncomfortable position of suddenly needing more resources than I have.   You know . . . that thing that happens while you’re busy making other plans?  Yeah.  THAT!

The Dilemma

Let me share with you just a couple of the highlights, to give you a flavor of some of the intensity I’ve been experiencing so far this year:

— The car into which I had sunk just about all of my available resources, came to a sad end suddenly on Friday the 13th (which has always been a lucky day for me.)   It still was, because I walked away from a black ice skid that smashed the front end to smithereens and totaled the car — without getting a single scratch on me and without breaking any of the contents inside the car except for a thermos — or harming anyone else in the process.)  Further, the new insurance I’d just taken out the day before. . . did not cover replacement costs (as I thought it did.)  So. . . total loss and with it, all the resources I’d put into it.  Ouch.  But I and my belongings?  Safe and sound (thank God!)

— Some of the payments I’d counted on failed to come through, all for legitimate, understandable reasons.

— My computer needed emergency repairs, to solve some tricky internet connectivity issues.

— Some bills came in for higher amounts than I expected.

— Seems like a couple of my teeth are going to need some dental work soon.

And so on and so forth.  Little things, some of them, but added together?  Right when I was planning on some business expansion?  Big gulp of unwelcome surprise!

Most of you know that I keep a positive attitude towards things.  And I still am.  But this time, I found myself stumped.

As I always do, I asked The Universe to provide me with information and answers.  But I wasn’t getting anywhere.  I started feeling frustrated.

I knew I needed to do things differently this time, if I am to get the answers I need as fast as I need them.  The thing that needed to change was so simple I almost overlooked it.  And that’s why I’m writing this today.

I remembered  that I need to change the way I ask my questions, so that the answers I get are actually ones I can use.  If you’d like to come along with me to hear what happened, I’d enjoy the company.  (Funny how we can know things and share them with others, and completely forget sometimes to use the same things ourselves!  This really was one of the slap-the-forehead moments for me.)

Let me share with you, first, the questions I asked before I made the changes, and reveal to you a little bit about what’s going on for me.    After that, I want to share how I changed the wording of my questions, and got perfectly aligned answers that make total sense to me ~ and I’m going to ask you to come along with me on part of this journey, too, because YOU may actually hold the answers I seek to some of my questions. (Wouldn’t THAT be cool if you did???)

And I’m going to share with you a couple of simple secrets that you can use immediately, to get better results from the questions you have about all the important things in your life ~ because I care about you, about all of us knowing how to co-create a beautiful life for ourselves, and a beautiful world around us.  I know we can do it!

The original questions (the ones I ended up changing):

Here are the questions I asked myself, when I knew that Life was delivering to me some challenges I didn’t know how to meet (as quickly as I know I need them):

— How am I going to solve these things?
— How much money do I actually require, that will handle all of this right now?
— How will it happen?
— Who can and will help me?  Is there anyone who could?

Those aren’t bad questions.  In fact, they are the right ones.  But. . . I wasn’t getting the answers I needed.

That’s when I remembered something important.  (Funny how we can know things and share them with others, and completely forget sometimes to use the same things ourselves!)

Pause the Old Tapes here. . .

Because the simple changes I made in how I worded the questions were so powerful for me, I wanted to share them with you, too, because I think they can help you with any of the life dilemmas you face.

What I know is, when you train yourself to ask better questions, you DO get better results.  And when we are truly solving problems from a place of deep connection and truth, the world gets better.  For you, for me, for everyone.  I want that.  I think you do too.

So before I go into how I changed the questions, let me first give you the “secret sauce” of how to change the wording of your questions, for maximum clarity and power, and for the very best results.  Then I’ll show you how I changed MY questions, and the answers that came when I did.

The word with which you start your question matters!

Who is good.  It reminds your subconscious mind that you don’t need to solve this by yourself.  But. . . it also gives your subconscious mind a subtle message that perhaps you CAN’T solve it alone, which may or may not be true.  It can impact your sense of self esteem and self confidence, so be aware when you ask a Who question that you may be dis-empowering yourself subconsciously by the wording of it.

is good.  It’s opens the door to curiosity, which is a good thing. BUT!  It doesn’t give you access to the higher intuitive field that a different word will (I will share with you which word that is, in just a moment.)

Why questions are seldom useful.

Why?  (Not to be intentionally funny here. . . but there IS an important reason.)  WHY questions automatically bring a shaming voice.  Your parents and teacher’s voices are imprinted with this question, in all the times you heard messages such as:

Why did you do something so stupid?”
Why did you (fill in the blank with something they didn’t want you to do.)”
Why didn’t you (fill in the blank with something you were expected but failed to do)?”
Why are you doing it THAT way?” (As if it’s wrong. . . )

I think you get the point.

Why questions bring up shame for you.  Avoid them if you can, when seeking answers from The Universe (which, by the way, NEVER shames you. . . so don’t use a word that will bring up any shaming feelings.)  Oh and shame has a cousin:  blame.  Which doesn’t feel good either, and it WILL come up when you use Why words.

When is an OK question, if you have enough specifics to actually take action.  You may, however, want to save these for after you have done the first or second round of power questions, using the magic word I am going to give you next.

Finally, here is the magic word that unlocks opportunity, and connects you with both your higher self AND the vast intuitive field of The Universe, where ALL answers lie in the unmanifest potential:


When you begin a question with the word What, it’s like a secret code.  It unlocks doors.  It leads you where you want to go.

(What if is also a great one, as long as you frame it with the BEST possible outcome as the intention.)

So, to recap here:

WHY = shame
WHAT = opportunities

When you want and need answers, begin EVERY question with the word “What”.  Think about what it is that you want to know, and formulate your question so that it starts with “What.”  Then ask.  And get quiet, so you can listen for the answers in the stillness of your heart.  I promise you, you WILL get awesome results with this!

So.  Would you like to know how I changed the questions I was asking?  And what happened when I did?  (I thought you might. . . so here goes. . . )

What I changed about my original questions

You can use these upgraded questions as examples for how to change the questions you have about your own situations, so you can see what I did to change the wording.  I should tell you that before I changed the wording, the answers I was getting were pretty vague.  They were not helping me.  These did, as you will see.

Here are the new questions I asked:

— What would it take, to get all this handled right now?
— What resources have I got, that would help take care of that?
— Who do I know, that would instantly know what to do if they found themselves in my situation?
— What is it that I could do, that would have the MOST impact on those I serve and care about?  (In case you don’t know. . .that would be YOU!)  What are the MOST impactful opportunities for both me and the people I serve?
— What am I missing here?  What else could I/should I be asking?
— What if there are people who can help me with this, if I could be in touch with them easily?

The answers that came with the new, upgraded questions

So. . . after some quiet time in the stillness, here are some of the answers that came to me.  I’ve included the questions too, so you can see how detailed the information was that came.

1)  What would it take, to get all this handled right now?

It’s going to take at least $10,000 to handle everything that needs to happen.  Here is what that will cover:

— pay off unexpected expenses
— move to a new location within the near future (something I’d been thinking about, and realize that it’s time now)
— set up a different business structure that can help me expand my work organically and support it to grow as it needs
— new labels, supplies and materials for some exciting new products that I’ve had in the pipeline for a while now, that customers want and need now
— reliable transportation that can help me travel to deliver workshops, training, and to share my knowledge with others.
— get started on some basic dental treatment I need.

2) What resources have I got, that would help take care of that?  What is the most graceful, aligned way that I can generate the needed resources within 30 days or less?  What have I already created, that I can share now?

Well, I have a program I created a couple of years ago, that teaches you how to communicate directly with Nature Intelligence, to co-create sustainable, scaleable solutions for everything in life, from things that need to be designed, built, and manifested, to enjoying thriving health, relationships, communities, even to working co-operatively with the elements for greater ease with the earth changes that are happening, including the weather.

It’s something I was working on a few years back, but was given the signal to put it on hold for a while, which I did.  But perhaps now is the right time to bring it back, and share it with the world.

So I have this.  I am not sure if this is THE best resource I have right now?  But it’s the one that seems like it could be.  So for now, I’m going with it.

I have some books that are almost complete, that I can publish.  But they wouldn’t bring me the level of income I am seeking, within the time frame I need.  So, it’s probably going to be the program.

3)  Who do I know, that would instantly know what to do if they found themselves in my situation?  (Who is my hero?  My go-to person who always finds the coolest ways to solve problems and engage the people she cares about at a heart level, and serves them with integrity, grace and power, consistently ~ and what would she do, if she found herself in my shoes?)

In my world, I know who that is.

Andrea J. Lee is just about one of the most heart-centered, skillful people I know, when it comes to running a business, creating out-of-the-box solutions for herself and her clients, and is a genuine innovator,  a brilliant woman I’ve admired for so long.  And while I sure don’t know how she does what she does, I can guess from watching her how she might approach a situation like the one I find myself in right now.

First of all, she would go to “her people.”  The ones who follow her.  Are on her mailing list.  Her customers.  Her clients.  Her social media connections.  And she would invite them to help her co-create some of those solutions, help her think her way through them.

So. . . in a way, that is what I am doing here, too.  I am sharing with you exactly what’s going on, and asking for your thoughts about it all.  (Well, I haven’t asked you yet, but I will before this article is done.)

She would listen.  Maybe ask some more questions.  And then invite you to tell her if what she is planning next is the right thing for everyone, or not.  She involves people!

So. . . that’s what I want to do here, too.  I’d really love to know what you think about my situation, and what YOU might do if you were in my shoes.   This is how we evolve faster, I believe. . . when we share from the heart, with our own truths, our own insights, our own perspectives and wisdom.

4)  What is it that I could do, that would have the MOST impact on those I serve and care about?  (In case you don’t know. . .that would be YOU!)  What are the MOST impactful opportunities for both me and the people I serve?

Hmmm.  Again, I think I have to go with the program I told you about in Question #2.   It will sure have an impact on you, help you expand your consciousness in ways the benefit both you and your world, OUR world.   This fits my criteria all the way round.  So far, so good, I think.

5)  What am I missing here?  What else could I/should I be asking?

This question is almost like a “bonus question”.  It comes after I have asked all the questions I know how to ask, and if I am still not sure, or if I sense that maybe I could be missing something, or if I just want a sense that I have received all the data that’s available to me.  Here’s the question (and instead of asking The Universe, I’d like to ask YOU):

Can you tell me or show me what am I missing here?  What else could I/should I be asking?

What if there are people who can help me with this, if I could be in touch with them easily?  Do you know anyone else who might help me generate this level of income, through relaunching the program I already have nearly complete right now?

Well, that’s it.  This is as far as I’ve gotten so far, but it’s WAY ahead of where I was before.  I am feeling MUCH better about my situation, and the deep inner knowing that the answers are always there for us, when we know the right questions to ask.

Oh.  And just in case you DON’T know the right questions to ask?  This IS the best question you can ask to get things rolling:  “What is the right question to ask about this situation?”

Another good one: “What is the first thing I need to know about this situation?”  (Then:  “What else do I need to know?  What other questions should I be asking?”)

Now, would you like to help me take the final steps here and really get some traction on what needs to happen?  Here’s how you can help.

1)  Comment on this post below, with your suggestions about what I might be missing, what else I could do, that will elegantly, easily, and gracefully bring me the resources I need within the next 30 days.  I believe it’s possible to do.  But I’m not sure if I have all the pieces I need, to pull it off.

This is where I’d love your input.

Tell me if I’m on track here, if you agree that a program like the one I already have on the back burner, will be my ticket out of this sticky situation?

Or am I still missing something I should know about, consider, be, or do?  Could it be done more simply?  What else, what more, what less?  Will this work, do you believe?  Why or why not?

2)  In your comments, if you will tell me which domain name resonates best with you, and with any suggestions you might have about how best to promote and fill the membership within 30 days, I will select the best ideas (the ones I can implement and use right now) and offer a free1-1 coaching session with me, on how to ask better questions (or any other topic related to How To Partner With Nature.)  I will limit the number of free coaching sessions to no more than five total, so please offer your best ideas in your comments, if you want to go for it.

Thank you for reading, for sharing with your tribe, your colleagues, your followers. . . and for being on this journey with me.  I know we all “hit the rapids” every now and then. . . and when we do, it’s great to know we have others who have the talent to get us through them in fabulous shape.

Oh.  By the way (before I forget) if you’d like to check out the program I mentioned above (the one I am strongly considering as my best opportunity)?

How To Partner With Nature we may also call Just Ask Nature.  (I have that domain name, too, but haven’t decided yet which one works best.)

Tell me in your comments which domain resonates best for you, and if you can share your best suggestions for how to quickly and elegantly fill this program, tell me that too please.  I appreciate all your ideas, even if you think they aren’t brilliant; you never know which simple thing is the one that makes ALL the difference!

Thank you!

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